You CAN Polish A Turd


You CAN Polish A Turd

BBC is reporting on the theft of a golden toilet from Blenheim palace in Oxfordshire, England.


The 18-carat golden throne was stolen around 5am on September 14 by a “gang” of thieves according to the police.


A 66-year-old male has been arrested related to the theft which also reportedly led to “significant damage and flooding” since the toilet was ripped out of the working plumbing system of the palace.


The functional toilet was part of an art display by an Italian artist called Maurizio Cattelan in Blenheim palace called “America” and was also available for visitors to use. Why the artist decided to name a decadent throne full of shit America remains unclear.


The toilet display had only been open for a few days when the theft occurred.


Imagine the post-game plan as a van idled on in a seedy suburb and a guy leans out the window to a passerby: “Mornin’ mate, you ‘appen to know if there’s a metalwork smelter nearby?”


Perhaps it is currently being melted down into gold bullion – wouldn’t be the worst idea given that the throne is worth $6 million.


“We believe a group of offenders used at least two vehicles during the offence,” said Detective Inspector Jess Milne, adding that “the artwork has not been recovered at this time but we are conducting a thorough investigation to find it and bring those responsible to justice.” The trouble is, with the toilet gone, the police don’t have much to go on.


Stealing is bad and a workable society rests on upholding the law for all, but doesn’t a part of you feel like people who are extravagant enough to build a toilet of gold in a world of famine, war and ecological devastation deserve to have it nicked? *Please note: this is not an official endorsement of stealing toilets, golden or otherwise.*


No word on whether police are considering US President Donald Trump as a suspect.

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