Whining to Congress might save the Wine


Whining to Congress might save the Wine

On January 14th, the Trump administration will impose a 100 percent tariff on European luxury goods including handbags, cosmetics, cashmere sweaters and wine. Sound the alarm. Alert the Real Housewives. And you thought the real emergency was Iran.


In all seriousness, people are really upset about the wine tariffs. While it will likely help American wine production companies, it will hurt the companies that rely on distributing European imported wine. Some of these companies, including Jenny & Francois Selections, have been desperately trying to oppose the tariffs before they pass. They’re calling clients, begging them to call their representatives in Congress. 


Congress is currently trying to avoid a nuclear world war, but like surely they’ll take some time to help out winos. 


Because at the end of the day, wine is really something that unites all of us. Rich or poor, black or white, who doesn’t love a nice chardonnay with their evening caviar? (Cue the song “Pinot Noir” from Kimmy Schmidt). 


Lately the wine industry has been trying to break away from the idea that wine is an elitist drink. They’re like “it’s not just for white girls on yachts wearing surprisingly flattering tank tops that say ‘Rosé all day.’” “It’s not just for cheese tastings attended by middle aged couples trying to stave off divorce.” “It’s not just for Pete Buttigieg fundraisers.” 


It probably didn’t help their case that wine got lumped in with handbags and cashmere sweaters under the luxury tax. It really just kind of underscored the idea that wine is something served at Bachelorette parties and Bachelor viewing parties and really awkward first dates. 


It’s also served as restaurants, another industry that will suffer due to the tariff. You know how when you go to a restaurant, the wine costs way more than the food? No one questions this even though food is something you literally need to live and wine is just this random liquid that you drink and then makes you act weird. Anyway, if restaurants only served food, they’d go out of business. Restaurant wine sales make up for their losses on food.


In summary, this tariff could be terrible for the restaurant industry, the cheese tasting industry, and everyone who watches Bravo. Seriously, can the Democratic candidates stop talking foreign policy, healthcare and immigration and just tell us how they’re going to save the wine? 

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