Wetherspoons… the most hygienic pub around
Have you ever visited a British Wetherspoons? Perhaps then you have noticed the way that the tables are permanently sticky, even after being ‘wiped down’. Or the way that the menus are stained with years of ketchup and brown sauce.
Even during a global pandemic, the lavatories never seem have enough hand soap or hot water. So the customary three second rinse has to suffice.
It is a wonder then that the chain’s founder, Tim Martin, has recently claimed that there has been ‘hardly any transmission of coronavirus in pubs’ and that his will ‘remain open for the duration’ of the epidemic. See, Tim is a business man. If people are going to get corona, he’s damn well making sure it happens over one of his pints.
Aside from being a part-time pandemic expert, Tim Martin also so happens to be a large Tory party donor and fervent Brexiteer. This explains why Stella Artois is the most foreign thing you will find in a Wetherspoons.
But his attitude has so far drawn no criticism from Downing Street. However, since the government ordered that all pubs and restaurants should close, ‘Spoons’ have ceased trading for now.
In the mean-time, millionaire Tim Martin intends to try and catch the coronavirus and fight it off to gain immunity… despite being a heavy smoker and undergoing several surgeries in recent years.
It’s only a shame that all his pubs have now closed, as they would have given him the perfect opportunity.
But this just one of a wide range of approaches taken by different businesses to the pandemic. Some companies, including Nivea and some gin dispensaries have used their factories to start producing hand sanitiser and disinfectant.
Supermarkets too have stepped up their response. With ‘silver hour’ being introduced in many to allow vulnerable elderly customers priority over newly stocked shelves. Toilet paper has been particularly difficult to find… owing to a lesser known COVID-19 symptom – insatiable addiction to Andrex and Contonelle.
But just how many of these high-street names will be able to bounce back after the current crisis? A study found that closures could push the UK, among other countries, into a ‘deep recession’.
A Chinese-style complete closure of society could lead to city centres looking like set-pieces from the Great Depression permanently. As one prominent doctor recently wrote… ‘It’s like an elephant being attacked by a house cat. Frustrated and trying to avoid the cat, the elephant accidentally jumps off a cliff and dies.