West Side Story


West Side Story

People around the world are facing extreme hardship due to battles with the Coronavirus. Meanwhile, in Hollywood, Kanye West is facing extreme hardship due to a battle with Forbes magazine. 


In the past, Forbes has refused to name Kanye West an official billionaire, leaving him behind with the multimillionaire riffraff like Brad Pitt and Sir Elton John. Sick of being lumped with these plebs, Kanye contemplated his choices. He thought about changing his name to “Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West,” but ultimately decided against it. After all, there was no need to drag Christians into all this. 


But this year, the stars aligned. Forbes decided to recognize the billionaire status of the Christian genius billionaire Kanye West. (Although no one has yet recognized the “genius” status). They listed his 2020 net worth as $1.3 billion. 


Kanye, however, was less than pleased. He maintains that his net worth is closer tp $3.3 billion. This time, Kanye was strategic. Instead of publicly threatening to change his name to Christian Genius Kanye West Who is Worth $3.3 Billion, he just sent the magazine a salty text. 


In the text, Kanye claimed that the magazine’s error was due to the fact that “No one at Forbes knows how to count.” Meanwhile, everyone at Forbes has an economic degree and makes a living publishing Top 100 lists. Kanye West has a ton sneakers and makes a living singing about how he is a god. 


Last year, when he was still upset about being excluded from the billionaire list, Kanye said, “When I did Forbes, I showed them a $890 million receipt and they still didn’t say ‘billionaire.’” Although $890 million is definitely less than a billion, so maybe it’s actually Kanye who doesn’t know how to count. 


Perhaps Kanye was also embarrassed that his 22 year old sister-in-law, Kylie Jenner made the 2019 billionaire list and he didn’t. In fact, she received accolades for becoming the world’s first “self-made” billionaire. At the time, this was really controversial. After all, when you look at Kylie Jenner, do you really see someone “self” made? Or do you see someone made by Dr. Garth Fisher, renowned Hollywood plastic surgeon? 


Forbes is still waiting for the other the YEEZY Boost sneaker to drop. But if history is any indication, the diss track should be dropping soon. Next summer’s hottest lyrics will sound something like “Forbes still don’t know how to count, I made that mag famous.” 

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