Tik Tok-ed Off
The US Government is investigating the alleged security threat posed by the social media company, Tik Tok. Because there’s nothing more threatening to America than teenagers performing choreographed synchronized dances to Megan Thee Stallion songs.
Tik Tok exploded in popularity a couple years ago. Which was weird because the idea for a short video social media app was not original at all and it was also around the time that Vine and Keek were starting to become uncool. But a few viral video challenges (and many embarrassing tweenage moments that will now be immortalized on the internet later) it was the social media.
However, journalists got suspicious when they noticed a startling small amount of political content especially in regards to the Hong Kong protests on the app. They realized there was probably censorship coming from the Chinese government — because that’s the only explanation for why an app that’s usually about 14 year olds showing their midriff or couples swapping their outfits while nodding along rhythmically to pop music doesn’t include a flood of sober political content about protests in Hong Kong.
Tik Tok was then accused of censorship and not protecting users’ “data.” (Note: the term “data” means embarrassing five second videos that people made because they were bored in quarantine…honestly, right now it seems like there are bigger things to worry about than the Chinese Government infiltrating Tik Tok and watching Jacob Sartorius videos).
Tik Tok didn’t stand alone though. People were also worried about a Russian app that let people see what they would look like as old people. Which sounds like a really interesting app, and seeing an image of yourself with wrinkles and age spots is definitely worth putting all your personal information at risk for. But Tik Tok is now the bigger problem because the old age app (much like old age people) eventually died.
Trump is now looking to ban Tik Tok. Mike Pompeo has referred to the app as a clear and present danger, which is honestly stronger language than the Republicans have ever used when talking about the Coronavirus. Trump thinks that banning the app will be a blow to China. The truth is, it will more likely be a blow to all teenage influencers who spent months trying to learn the Toosie Slide dance.