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by Dante O'Brien

There’s a New Teacher in Town

By Dante O'Brien
September 3, 2019
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There's a New Teacher in Town

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Saudi Arabian boys are in for a new experience. As Al Arabiya is reporting, female teachers will be allowed to teach starting this term in Saudi Arabia for the first time.

 

The change will affect more than six million students in public schools, and women teachers will be instructing about 14 percent of the boys in the school system.

 

Apparently “several scientific and behavioural studies” showed that having female teachers as well as male helps students learn and adjust better. Who’d have thought that being separated from the opposite sex until your family arranges for you to marry a stranger could harm one’s social adjustment.

 

Additionally, the studies found that female teachers make it easier to talk to parents about how their child is doing in school.

 

Perhaps the women will also be better suited to accompany the children to watch mass beheadings on a field trip.

 

One earlier this year killed 37, including Mujtaba al-Sweikat who’d been accepted to university in Michigan but was arrested in 2012 at age 17 for going to a pro-democracy protest. That should ensure those young Saudis don’t get any crazy ideas.

 

Students will still be separated by gender in primary school, but for many boys it will be their first experience being taught by women. Men usually call the shots in Saudi Arabia for women, kids and … animals … considering Saudi men spend a lot of their time buying cheetahs. Although Saudi women often have a lot of power behind-the-scenes in child-raising and running their family they don’t generally have power in mixed-gender public positions.

 

While misbehaviour and classroom antics are a fact in every culture, Saudi boys will still have to be careful not to joke about God or atheism, since publicly stating that you do not believe in God is an extremely serious crime in Saudi Arabia.

 

Having a small crush on your teacher as a boy and young teen can also be common, but Saudi boys should make sure not to say anything amiss, especially considering a young Saudi teen was recently arrested for flirting online.

Ain’t progress grand?

 

FeminismSaudi Arabia
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Mad Men, Sorry, People.

By Spitsbergen
June 14, 2019
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Mad Men, Sorry, People.

The UK’s advertising watchdog has introduced a ban on advertisements that portray ‘harmful gender stereotypes’, triggering the age old discussion of what came first, the gender or the stereotype? 

 

The reason for this Orwellian decision is not that this will solve all issues of sexism and wage gaps, but that these stereotypes are causing “serious or widespread offence” and they “limit people’s potential”. So, if up until now your only source of inspiration have been TV adverts, your life is about to be a whole lot more balanced. 

 

The ban doesn’t mean women wearing lipstick on TV is illegal or that a man needs to feature in every tampon commercial, but stereotypes limiting each gender will no longer be tolerated.  Think a man being unable to change a diaper, a damsel in distress at the side of the road waiting for a man to come rescue her, or this: 

By doing so, the ad-watch people will now be legislating what society should look like. From now on, a man’s place is in the kitchen and he shouldn’t worry his pretty little head about any of that politics stuff going on. As for women, don’t even think about expressing a meaningful emotion, and doing any housework at all makes you a total wuss. There, much better. 

 

As for “limiting people’s potential” because ads restrict choices and aspirations. That’s why you’ll never see someone who doesn’t look like George Clooney buy a Nespresso machine, a fat man hoist himself into a Cristiano Ronaldo t-shirt or drunk women falling over in front of McDonalds at 3AM. Thought so. Plenty of men are completely useless around the house, and end up paying a $100/hour plumber to switch off a tap. And no, not all women go roller blading with a poodle when they’re on their period. Besides, if you want to make a product for raging sexists, why shouldn’t you be able to? 

 

Having said that, there is some method to the madness. Picture your average 1960s vacuum cleaner advertisement – a man waiting impatiently for a cold beer to be brought to him after a long day at work, the wife slaving away with the Hoover. But now, the quieter more powerful Hoover saves the day, by getting the beer in the working man’s hand quicker so he can sit back and watch his politics. Laughable, old fashioned and sexist? Yes. But before pulling out the “political correctness gone mad + snowflakes” box of tricks, think about this: what if this was about ads showing black men exclusively shining shoes and waiting tables? That would probably be a bit too 1920s for everyone. 

 

But, the chances of this bringing about Martin Luther King-esque changes to society’s gender issues are slim. People who really think ‘women in kitchens’ is the way forward will continue to feel that way and those who don’t will likely not buy the goods. As for the children, they are much more likely to be held back by mummy, daddy and their local religious institution when it comes to views on gender than by a Pepsi ad featuring 20 women in a bikini.

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(Lock) Down and Dirty

By Isabelle Bousquette
May 8, 2020
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(Lock) Down and Dirty

Neil Ferguson is known as “the man who put Britain into lockdown.” His genius scientific modeling was able to predict a nasty death toll from the Coronavirus. Alas, his genius scientific modeling was not able to predict what would happen when he broke his own lockdown to have sex with a married woman.

 

(National embarrassment, job resignation, and a photo that makes him look like a grown up version of Michael Cera plastered all over the papers).

 

For a guy who makes a career out of predicting worst case scenarios, it’s weird he didn’t see this one coming. Why did he do it? Did he assume there was more leeway for sex scandals under Boris “BJ” Johnson’s leadership? Was he just really horny after binge watching BBC’s Normal People? 

 

It’s hard to say. What we do know is that while everyone else was shaving their heads and baking banana bread, Neil Ferguson was sending tacky “U up…lol” texts to his married girlfriend, Antonia Staats, at 2am. 

 

Lockdown has been an unprecedented time of closures. Starbucks is not open. The gym is not open. The cinema is not open. The only thing that’s stayed open, apparently, is Antonia Staat’s marriage.

 

Professor Ferguson met up with Staats twice. The second time was after he had been diagnosed with Coronavirus. Pretty sure that when you get Coronavirus, you’re supposed to get in bed, watch Netflix, and just chill. You’re not supposed to umm…well, “Netflix and chill.”

 

After his resignation, Professor Ferguson’s colleagues spoke highly of his expertise and dedication. He was certainly a dedicated individual. (No, he wasn’t really dedicated to the government lockdown that he helped institute….but he was dedicated to pursuing an exciting sex life). 

 

So he’s the man who put Britain in lockdown, but he’s also a man with his priorities in order. Yes, it’s important to institute a national lockdown. Yes, it’s important to help save lives. Yes, it’s important to make old people stand 2 meters apart while queuing on the streets for toilet paper Les Miserables style. But the most important thing is to make sure that Neil Ferguson is having sex. 

 

Imperial College London, where Ferguson was a professor, issued a statement saying he would continue to “focus on his important research.” They didn’t clarify what that research was related to Coronavirus or whether it involved sneaking his lover across London, this time without the police noticing. 

 

At the end of the day, there’s one piece of bitter irony: the man who was able to keep the entirety of Britain inside their houses was not able to keep one thing inside his pants. 

1 Comment
    Anonymous says: Reply
    September 6th 2019, 12:02 PM

    Actually, if you look at the policy changes since the new king took power, this *is* positive change. Saudi Arabia is hardly feminist, but all of the policy changes he made were in the right direction, letting women drive, teach, etc.

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