Success of “Corona Zombies” is a No Brainer

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Success of “Corona Zombies” is a No Brainer

Relief has finally arrived for hundreds of thousands of people stuck in quarantine. No, it’s not a vaccine. It’s not a medical miracle. Unfortunately, it’s not even a supply of toilet paper. It’s something even better: a low budget hour-long Coronavirus-themed film about zombies.

 

In the film, “corona zombies” refer to a group of infected people that have become undead zombie menaces terrorizing the population. (Meanwhile, in real life, corona zombies refer to a group of people that have spent the entire quarantine with Netflix and Twix bars, telling themselves that if the gyms were open, they’d definitely be working out).

 

The film has one actor: Cody Renee Cameron. Then, to flesh out the storyline, it includes clips from critically-acclaimed cinematic masterpieces, such as Zombies vs. Strippers.

 

It’s a bold performance from bombshell blonde Cody Renee Cameron. She first gained recognition when she appeared in Tosh.0 in 2016, earning the coveted role of “Hooker in Tree #2.” (Perhaps they thought she didn’t quite have the range for “Hooker in Tree #1”).

 

Here, she plays “Barbie” with the same energy and enthusiasm that she threw into her performance as the second tree hooker.

 

All in all, the movie is a decently realistic take on the Coronavirus pandemic. Barbie, like many Americans right now, spends most of her time sitting on the couch watching the news and wondering what Coronavirus has to do with Corona beer.

 

The film also includes authentic details about the virus, including the fact that it originated from Chinese bat soup. Sure, it fabricates certain minor things, like the whole “coronavirus makes you a zombie thing,” but it’s a movie adaptation. You can’t expect them to get every small thing right. It’s still more realistic than that movie where Emma Stone plays a Hawaiian woman.

 

Corona Zombies premiered on Friday on the website, Full Moon Features. In case you hadn’t heard of Full Moon Features, it’s the equivalent of someone who sells DVDs you’ve never heard of from the back of their car at night – but online.

 

Unfortunately, you need to subscribe in order to access to full film. But for $6.99 a month (or $59.99 a year) it’s totally worth it. You’ll get access to the whole Full Moon Feature library, including smash hits like Swedish Boarding School Girls and Evilbong 666. The latter tells the story of a sentient bong who leaves a portal from hell to team up with the owner of a weed shop in order wreak havoc.

 

Ultimately, the key to surviving 2020 is adjusting expectations. You might want to see a decrease in global Coronavirus cases and promising research toward a vaccine. But that’s just not realistic. What is a realistic hope? A low budget crossover movie between the Corona Zombies and the Evil Bong.

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