Sex ban enforced by PM with indefinite number of children

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Sex ban enforced by PM with indefinite number of children

Yes indeed, under new lockdown rules in the UK, it is now illegal to have sex with someone from outside your own household as the law restricts two or more people from “coming” together indoors. It’s also not particularly clear why this has just been announced, seeing as previous lockdown rules restricted people from going to each other’s homes anyway – it’s almost as if they’re distracting from the tragedy with the farce.

 

The new rule is also increasingly laughable coming from a Prime Minister who refuses to publicly acknowledge how many children he has; who is known for a long string of extramarital affairs; and who has recently been in the news for his unique fusion of IT lessons and private pole dancing sessions.

 

The new rule comes with a mighty £100 fine if found guilty – which some may say is the price of a good night anyway – but there may be alternatives. Junior housing minister, Simon Clarke, was quizzed by LBC about the potential for open-air sex, to which he responded that “It is fair to say the transmission risk of coronavirus is much lower in the open air than in internal space, but obviously we do not encourage people to do anything like that outside at this time or any other.”

 

So, this begs the question; what’s the fine for sex outdoors? – A.k.a “outraging public decency” as some may say, but that wholly depends on how you do it. 

It seems that in recent years the police have taken a softer approach to public indecency, and would only really get involved if people complain. It would therefore seem that if this ban affects you, that your best bet would be a secluded location outdoors – and don’t forget, you can now also meet up to six people from separate households when socialising outdoors.

 

Upon reflection, however, this apparent loophole would seem to be dogging. That can’t be what Bullingdon boy Boris was intending, can it?

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