Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have announced their departure from their role as ‘senior royals’ and an intention to spend time between North America and the United Kingdom from now on.
Their move to step away from the limelight -and their so-called ‘duties’- could have been anticipated, given the considerable abuse from the press over the years.
They were branded the least favourite Royal couple, their son Archie was compared to a monkey by a BBC journalist, and many called for Markle to disappear altogether. All of this pleasantry – and the Royal attempt to embezzle paedophilia that would raise even the Pope’s eyebrow – makes abandoning ship an obvious decision.
If only it were that simple.
Even though Prince Harry is only 6th in line to the throne, this could have dire implications for the Royal family. Before you know it, everyone left is too old, can’t be bothered or is ‘definitely not a paedophile’ – to continue the monarchy (something for Jeremy Corbyn to consider if he is to step aside as the Labour leader).
Take Prince Charles, who previously hinted he did not want to step up to the place. And who can blame him? He’s probably too busy defending the 150.000 or so red squirrels from the millions of grey ones through his “red squirrel trust”.
If Charles does end up living his life as the David Attenborough of Hyde Park, he will have to pass the throne to his son William who also doesn’t seem to be jumping up and down at the prospect of having to visit the annual Chelsea flower show.
The throne could even end up with Prince Andrew’s daughters. Although, the chances of Eugenie and Beatrice making the cut could be harmed by the fact that their father is held up in some medieval tower forced to go through 20 years of Pizza Express security footage.
As a result of this game of ‘scrounger’s Dominos’, The Queen swiftly responded in a ‘keep your friends close, and your enemies closer’ sort of way. “talks are at an early stage, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through” she said.
If some of the horses from the stables go ‘missing’, you heard it here first.
But, if running away to Canada was supposed to be the solution to Piers Morgan and tireless abuse from the Murdoch press because Markle isn’t pale and ginger enough to be a royal, they could be very mistaken.
Thus far, the Mail reported people are furious, disappointed and upset at their leaving both within and outside the palace’s walls.
Critics mainly aimed at the fact that Harry and Meghan’s definition of “work more to become financially independent” and “standing on two feet” is still very Royal indeed.
As well as two feet, they will be standing on a newly renovated mansion in Windsor, round-the-clock police protection wherever they choose to go, and an allowance from Prince Charles. Bloody millennials.
But who knows. With a bit of luck and if Harry and Meghan dodge the odd Parisian tunnel, they might make it to Canada where all the nice people live.