Moscow Madness


Moscow Madness

Protesters recently marched through the streets of Moscow for the fifth straight weekend, demanding free and fair elections that include non-Putinist independent candidates. Or, to use a more literal translation from the local coverage, 50,000 Western-brainwashed Russians haven’t heard of how massively popular President Vladimir Putin is.


Previously, some protesters also felt the need to step in front of heavy batons and fists, forcing Russian authorities to smack them in the face over and over and break their ribs.


Perhaps the protesters lost the signal on their GPS and were looking for the Putin Perpetual Re-election Campaign Headquarters but wandered off-course into the arc of a policeman’s swinging baton. Some Russians even felt the need to be pregnant and in the same geographical location as police who were busy assaulting peaceful protesters. Do people just have no consideration these days for men at work or what?


Over 1,200 protesters were detained in one day alone in late July, and over 2,300 altogether, bringing Russian jail tourism numbers to highs not seen since the Soviet Union. There are also some old classics being brought back by popular demand such as the arrest of opposition politician Lyubov Sobol this weekend. Opposition is for sports teams, and even that is pushing it: Russian football hooligans are known as some of the most aggressive in the world after all.


The majority of Muscovites support the protests according to reputable polls. The news about Putin’s all-powerful popularity must simply not be getting on the airwaves and online in Moscow. Either that or George Soros is deploying high-powered brainwave mind control technology funded by reptilian shape-shifters. It simply cannot be the case that a large number of people want actual respect for fair elections and more choice in candidates in their elections: don’t talk crazy now.


Elections for the Moscow city Duma (parliament) are coming up Sept. 8. Although most who have been arrested have been let out soon after, a few are facing more serious charges and Russia has said it’s looking into laws to crack down harder on where protesters are allowed to gather.


After all: what better way to show you’re not an authoritarian police state than to steadily restrict the rights of free expression and smack pro-democracy protesters in the face?

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