London’s Friendliest Landlord Considers Evicting Assange

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London's Friendliest Landlord Considers Evicting Assange

Julian Assange

Julian Assange, professional couch-surfer and founder of Wikileaks, has been getting poor reviews from the Ecuadorian government he is currently being housed by. President Moreno recently stated Assange can stay in the embassy only if he abides by the rules that have been agreed. If he does not, Moreno will be taking “a decision” on his stay…Pff, typical, London landlords. But, plenty are willing to put up with mouldy showers and broken heaters for the sake of a room in London, so why is Assange pushing the boundaries? 

 

Perhaps the requests made by the Ecuadorians are so unreasonable that a death threat here and there or a prison sentence is worth considering. Beer in the fridge at all times, no torrenting and no houseguests? Not quite. Although, Assange does have a habit of having people around. Nigel Farage, for example, who obviously would not have turned up if the first condition wasn’t satisfied, and Pamela Anderson who took a moment to describe what Assange means to her: 

Seems like a lovely guy!

 

Maybe Assange’s pad is just not quite what he was looking for. Unfortunately, he has little choice as the chances of him getting a similar housing deal are slim. The embassy might be in the more tacky part of town, but Ecuador has spent over 5 million dollars on intelligence and security in order for Assange to have a lovely bullet-free stay. This puts Assange in the elite-club of people being paid vast amounts of money by a government to have no political opinions and live in the centre of London to attract tourists. The other ones are living in that country club looking thing on The Mall. 

 

We can see where he’s coming from:

Embassy Ecuador

But Assange’s attempt at turning the embassy into a B-list celebrity squat house is not the issue. According to Moreno, Assange needs to comply with only three conditions; he cannot interfere in politics, he cannot lie (?) or hack into private phones or private accounts. Guess that second condition makes it difficult for the founder of a giant whistleblowing outlet to comply with the other two. Clever. 

 

What started as a vague promise by the Ecuadorian government saying Assange could stay as long as he wanted – “two centuries if necessary” – has now turned into what looks like paternal regret. Assange doesn’t take care of his cat, keeps using unauthorised material and even compromises government communication systems. If the time comes for London’s friendliest landlord to suggest he takes a gap year, have your applications ready.

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