Apple Takes too Big a Bite
Apple has released some new stuff. Best of all, it’s all a bargain – at least according to Apple and those clapping, whooping, adenoid seals that sit in the audience of those ridiculous release events. Six grand for the entry level computer – steal! A monitor for five-thousand – I’ll take seven! A $999 stand for the five-thousand-dollar monitor – wait, what?
In the most overtly cynical ‘let’s see how much we can squeeze them for’-ploy since… well, name a previous Apple product… they are actually selling you a monitor stand for about one-thousand actual US dollars. Separately from the five-thousand dollar monitor you already bought. This isn’t some Bluetooth controlled job that rescues polar bears, calls your mom on her birthday and talks to you if you’re a lonely space-age hipster, either. It’s just a metal stand.
Of course, it’s not just a metal stand. It swivels a bit. And when the presenter woman announced this, the seals were all on board. That is, before they heard the price. So, despite the swivel capabilities, it wasn’t a great day for the presenter guy. The not-Tim-Cook one. He must have drawn the short straw backstage or something, because that poor bastard had the unfortunate task of reading out how much the stand with a bit of swivel cost. One-thousand dollars.
Saddest of all, the poor sap knew he was screwed. He tried to mumble through that part quicker than a child explaining his report card. But he wasn’t quick enough. The seals heard him. No applause. Then a grumble, an incredulous murmur. Was Apple really about to sell something at an unreasonable price? Impossible! But, it is! Worse yet, there was almost a chuckle. The not-Tim-Cook presenter guy handed over to the Tim Cook presenter guy and booked it off the stage.
Of course, you don’t have to buy the one-thousand dollar slightly swively metal stand. You can also get the $199 VESA wall mount. This might seem like extortion, because it is. But it’s Apple so it’s ok and not subject to taxation. At the end of the day, anyone vain enough to buy a display stand with a price to weight ratio of cocaine deserves to get their money taken off them. But also, we still have that time-share in Arizona, so please pass their numbers on to us.