♫On the third day of Christmas Boris said to me, three household mixings♫
Boris Johnson as well as the other leaders of the UKs devolved nations have decided that from the 23rd to 27th of Christmas the deadly virus that is sweeping across the country will stop, a Christmas miracle!
From the 23rd to 27th the people of the UK will be able to mix in ‘bubbles’ of up to three households, though restrictions on bars, pubs and restaurants relative to the tired system expected to be put into place post the national lockdown.
But after realising the rules might just be too straight forward, Chris Whitty came out to over-complicate things by stating that you shouldn’t see your poor isolated elderly relatives, even though you’re allowed to, and you shouldn’t hug them because it’s tantamount to murder. That’s the festive spirit Chris!
According to senior sources at the COBRA meeting on the 24th November Boris Johnson, who himself has several family get-togethers (and how many children, again?) to be avoided, initially was opposed to the plan but changed his mind after Home Secretary Priti Patel was mean to him. But no one complain – unless they want their job put on the line.
Various senior Conservative politicians are now making public statements asking people to enjoy Christmas within the rules, and remain responsible. Quick to see the irony in this, people are now asking why following the roles and acting responsibly do not apply to Domic Cummings or to Priti Patel.
But with a backbench rebellion of 70+ MPs on the cards, Boris Johnson has promised that there’ll be ‘three weeks to flatten the curve’ ‘significant normality by Christmas’ ‘nine weeks of tiers in the new year’ to win them over…
Families, though, for the most part are welcoming a chance to meet up at this special time of the year. It’s a chance to look back on the past year and celebrate in spite of a virus that has forced us to stay home and caused far more arguments over Articulate and Monopoly than actually deaths. Queue the disgruntled husbands grumbling about not being able to avoid seeing the in-laws this year due to Covid-19.