Theresa May Wins Brexit


Theresa May Wins Brexit

Theresa May Wins Brexit

Theresa May’s Brexit strategy has not received the praise it deserves. The Prime Minister has found  the perfect middle between keeping remainers and leavers as happy as they can be, whilst still pretending to honour the referendum result as best as possible (i.e. making it seem Brexit is still happening). 

Today May announced she will ask Brussels for another extension, in return for a conversation with Jeremy Corbyn. She is clearly not afraid of sacrifice…Soon she will consult the ‘May chest of Brexit one liners’ by calling for another vote, having her deal voted down, threatening to resign or returning to Brussels to renegotiate (presumably to earn some Eurostar Clubcard points for the tough times ahead). 

This is turning into what Brits do best; tradition. Soon, – alongside the Tesco meal deal, pretending a parliament is a rowdy pub and wearing oversized hats when looking at farm animals – extending article 50 will be baked into British folklore. The year 2094 will see children ask where this ‘May’s deal’ came from and why it keeps being voted down. 

Some say this is postponing the inevitable, but is it? The vote happened such a while ago that the ‘will of the people’ might as well be the referendum held in the 70s to remain in the EU. In any case, leavers are happy because ‘they won the vote, remainers should suck it up and accept the result’, whilst remainers can continue to enjoy visa-free stag dos in the south of Spain. Genius. 

But what about the starch leave politicians? Won’t they kick up a fuss? Brexit MVP Nigel Farage will have to think again when he trashes May’s strategy, as his livelihood depends on the matter (all that EU money for the unelected bureaucrats is good for something). As for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Brexit has given him the rise to fame he has always wanted. What was he up to before the referendum? In 2012 Mogg suggested his constituency of Somerset should get its own timezone as that’s the way it was done before the 1840s came around. Aha. 

Surely, keeping a few relics employed is not the will of the people in any scenario? Not in the slightest. Although it is surprising to see the leave voters, often from less prosperous areas, back a not so self made multi-millionaire who moved his investment fund to the EU once the UK voted to leave. Maybe it’s an aspirational thing.

The really good news might be that if this goes on for long enough, businesses will relocate to the UK, EU funds will continue to support the poorest regions in the UK (it’s not like the UK gov will be doing that) and the NHS will continue to be propped up by European migrant workers. Nice one Theresa!

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