The Mueller Investigation: Season 2
Robert Mueller’s investigation of President Donald J Trump has taken more twists and turns than cheesy day-time television. Add an identical evil twin and good coma and you got yourself a soap opera. So, what should you make of all of this?
The outcome of the ‘Crazy Mueller Report’ has basically everyone’s reputation on the line, not just Trump’s or the GOP’s. The Democrats need a win and god knows it’s not going to come from an election. The accusations of collusion are the last alternative they can desperately cling onto before having to admit they are bad at elections. As a political party, that’s quite a flaw. The 2016 election was as close to a sure-thing as a virgin on prom night, but the Democrats pulled a There’s-Something-About-Mary and got their thing stuck in the zipper of their crushed velvet tux. It started out with the questionable nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton. A very accomplished and experienced woman, sure – but a presidential race is a popularity contest and prom-queen and valedictorian seldom go hand in hand. This is, for Democrats, the only way to make sense of this mad mad mad world.
The GOP, meanwhile, feels bulletproof, having ducked and dodged career-enders like a trench-coated Keanu Reeves. This has been made possible, because Trump has turned the Republicans into a giant Ponzi Scheme of scandal hall-passes. If the guy at the top can grab kitty cats and become president, a governor’s got to be able to get away with a minor hooker infraction. But if Trump’s authority is called into question, it could mean we will see the pyramid beginning to crumble from the top down. If we were in the GOP’s position, we would be clenching our Sphynxtors in anticipation for the result.
As for the latest progress of the Mueller Report itself, it seems to have struck a chord with Trump. Boasting ‘total exoneration’ just two days ago, only a few hours later he took to twitter:
The ‘so-called notes’, or notes, to which Trump is referring are the detailed accounts former White House Council Don McGahn took of conversations with the President. While common practice among most circles upward of the second grade, this drew skepticism from Trump.
‘Why do you take notes. Lawyers don’t take notes. I never had a lawyer who took notes.’
Yes, that’s probably why your lawyers were so easy to put in jail. Trumps distain of academics is well established and evident in his condescendence for opinions of ‘the experts’ or ‘scientists’ – you know, basically anyone who has dedicated their lives to educating themselves and gaining experience in a given field. But hardly even the most ardent Trump detractor would have predicted that condescension extended to ‘the literates’.