Scarcity of Veterans Fuels WW3


Scarcity of Veterans Fuels WW3

The Third World War hype-train has left the station after touted Iranian Napoleon, Qasem Soleimani, was killed receiving a projectile dosage of his own medicine in a US airstrike at an airport in Baghdad, Iraq. 


His body was identified by his excessive bling, in particular the giant red gemstone ring he was known to wear on his finger. Said ring, incidentally, failed to impress New York jewellers, with one describing it as ‘not an expensive ring’.


The Iranian warlord has been described as a ‘rock-star’ who was seen by many as a potential future president of the regime. Like with all rock-stars, his untimely death has created a semi-religious cult of martyrdom and Iranian officials have already released a picture of him meeting with the Prophet Muhammad’s grandson in paradise. 


A similar likeness of the deceased general in the warm embrace of Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon can be expected in a future press-release. 


Yet the assassination was all part of the US President’s policy of avoiding another war in the Middle East, so it makes sense that senior Iranian officials should be targeted of ballistic missiles in order to achieve this policy aim.


Indeed, Trump’s criticism of the Obama-era policy toward Iran has not aged well, with the regime recently announcing its abolition of all limits on the uranium enrichment. Maybe he can try a much-derided Hillary Clinton-style ‘reset’ button approach?


Word on the streets of Washington is that killing the general was just one of several options put forth to the president. Trump staffers were of course hoping that this option sounded so desperately stupid that The Donald would try something sensible for once. You’d think they’d have learned by now… 


In response, the Iranian parliament has just declared United States military forces to be terrorists… A bit of a “Shrödinger’s, shoe is on the other table that has just turned” moment there. 


Retaliation for the killing of Soleimani is now considered guaranteed by many, with the US embassy in Iraq already being the target of violent demonstrations. Donald Trump has made clear that his administration’s policy has nothing whatsoever in common with terrorist groups… that’s why he has named a number of cultural sites in Iran as targets for destruction by way of US airstrike. Then again, can’t really blame someone like Trump for being unable to decipher what ‘culture’ means. 


The United States has received a lukewarm response from its European allies to the current crisis, with one admin wondering why NATO members have not been more ‘helpful’. Hopefully European leaders will see sense and commit themselves to WWIII soon as they will be running out of veterans for the second and first world war soon.

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