Return of the Golden Oldies


Return of the Golden Oldies

Concerns grow this week over how show-runners seem to be handling Brexit Season 4. Many have drawn attention to the show’s mounting reliance on the resurrection of characters otherwise believed to have been dead, with story lines that are becoming distressingly contrived, and increasingly fantastical. 


Peace envoy to the Middle East and former mass murderer Tony Blair attracted criticism last season when he emerged from the woodwork to tell Jeremy Corbyn that ‘enough was enough’. The geo-political destabiliser continued his attack, demanding that a second referendum be brought into the public debate. Mr Corbyn seemed unshaken from this verbal mortal blow, and was instead embroiled in the anti-semitism sub-plot which some viewers complain is taking far too long to wrap-up. 


Meanwhile, issues have been raised over the laziness of the writing this season. There are claims that giving the Conservatives their own bigotry plot line, with reports of systemic Islamophobia in the party , simply mirrors that of the Labour Party. 


When asked, one long-time viewer remarked that: “I admire the gut-wrenching and soul-searching struggle the Labour anti-Semitism plot ark is trying to convey.” He warned however: “You can’t just copy and paste those themes into the Conservative Party.”


He went on to add: “Stick to the poor-bashing, that normally works for the Tories. It’s quite difficult to concentrate when there are just so many people to hate; the disabled, the religious, the non-religious, gays and trans people just to name a few! Just whittle it down to a few groups please.”


Efforts have been made to add a degree of complexity to the current roster of characters this season. Sajid Javid, Home Secretary and failed PM candidate, called for an investigation into Islamophobia, and berating his Tory colleagues into reluctantly agreeing to support his efforts. 


But what has shocked audiences the most is the unexpected and uncalled for return of the most forgettable man in Britain, Sir John Major. He surprised the whole nation this week by actually being interesting for once when he threatened to sue the Queen. Eyebrows were raised when Major declared he would take the country to court if attempts were made to shut-down Parliament. 


Not long after this season’s climax, Major was branded ‘bonkers’ by one completely sane Tory operator close to Boris Johnson. The unnamed ‘veteran’ offered his diagnosis of Major – insanity through over-exposure to Brexit. 


Boris’s henchman then went on outline his eminently sensible and high risk/high reward strategy to defend British democracy. The plan? To suspend Parliament in the event of a no-deal Brexit by copying the playbook of an absolute 17th century monarchical despot who plunged the country into a decade of bloody civil war. On the edge of your seat yet? 


Tensions are undeniably mounting, the plot is thickening, and we may have a few battle sequences in the next few episodes. Who knows, it may well be worth the £350 million/week subscription. 

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