Police feel knife crime nostalgia


Police feel knife crime nostalgia

There are reports today that the senior brass of the London Metropolitan police department, MET, are missing knife crime. 



This comes in the wake of one of their own officer’s brutality taking the life of an innocent woman, Sarah Everard after he abducted her on the 3rd of March as she walked home at night.



The police have only managed to show even more utter incompetence after the fact as they handcuffed and removed multiple women from an evening vigil at Clapham Common. This has sparked further protests and rising calls for the MET chief, Dame Cressida Dick, to resign. 



As of now, she has refused to resign because of “armchair critics”… she said in her pyjamas from an armchair on Zoom.



In an email accidentally CCed to the entire MET, in another show of brilliance, and seen by On The Spot News Ms Dick said “I do miss knife crime and the days of stop and search, simpler times”. 



It remains unclear if yet another useless public servant will end up keeping their job despite clear and obvious failures. But if we went around sacking everyone useless at their job there wouldn’t be a parliament or civil service to speak of.



What happened to the good old days when politicians and public figures would resign at the first sign of trouble?

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