North Korea – the psycho ex-girlfriend
Having become bored with the international climate, Kim Jong Un has understandably blown something up. Like the crazy mistress from Fatal Attraction, the North seems desperate to win back the attention of the South and the world at large at any cost.
The inter-Korean liaison office along the border between the two nations was the subject of a surprise demolition this week after a state North Korean newspaper accused the South of behaving like a ‘mongrel dog’… rumour has it Kim’s full diss-track will be dropping imminently.
In response to Kim’s dynamite diplomacy the South Korean foreign minister has resigned, admitting he is in fact a mongrel dog. But some suspect that it’s not Kim Jong Un, who apparently nearly died recently, responsible for this hard-line stance but his sister, Kim Jo-Jong.
The international community awaits what the shadowy figure will blow up next, although she should remember that one expert observed recently that their entire network of underground submarine bases could be rendered useless by simply destroying their entrances… yikes.
Keen to demonstrate her ‘revolutionary credentials’, Jo-Jong decided that some balloons carrying a few pamphlets released by activists were enough of a provocation from the South.
The destruction of the building was ‘a reflection of the zeal of our people to punish the human scum who challenged the noblest dignity and prestige of our country’ said the official Korean Central News Agency.
But with coronavirus shrinking trade with their daddy China, the North is in dire straits economically. Indeed, one report found that the country had not been able to provide rations in the capital since March. So, who can really blame them? Everyone gets a little snappy when they’re hungry.
Some experts are arguing that the North is really just looking to escalate things in order to get the upper hand when and if any negotiations restart. In other words, there’s nothing new under the sun.