NATO Summit Kicks Off, Quite Literally


NATO Summit Kicks Off, Quite Literally

This week NATO leaders from twenty-nine countries are amassing in London to look pompous, disrupt traffic, and dine at the tax payer’s expense. But there is a wider point to all of this; the summit is a show of unity at a time when the alliance is filling with contradictions. 


Turkey, a country which has forcibly occupied Cyprus since 1974, is currently buying its weapons from NATO’s phantom menace, Russia. In a blatant provocation to the EU, Turkish President (and Prime Minister now too) recently signed an accord with another bastion of democracy and freedom Libya, which expands the territory of both across the Mediterranean. 


Sultan Erdogan has also threatened to block NATO General Secretary Stoltenberg’s plan for a defense pact in the Balkans and Eastern Europe after he was criticised for Turkey’s actions against the Kurds in Syria. 


Unless we’ve missed something along the way, NATO wasn’t set up to be the Erdogan cuddling alliance it’s become. So far, only Boris Johnson has attempted to hold Turkey, albeit through poetry, to account: 


There was a young fellow from Ankara

Who was a terrific wankerer

Till he sowed his wild oats

With the help of a goat

But he didn’t even stop to thankera.


Aside from Turkey, this NATO summt also had a few playground incidents.


US President Donald Trump, who used to mope about Montenegro being the likely flashpoint for a third world war, previously called the alliance obsolete. However, days after Macron suggested the brain death of the organisation, the Donald fell for all too effective reverse psychology usually reserved for 5-year olds. Donald, NATO, friends. 


On the other side of the playground, Johnson, Macron, Rutte and Trudeau seen to be gossiping about their American colleague in Buckingham Palace last night. The Canadian Prime Minister, whose socks were as colourful as his relationship with The Donald, remarked that ‘you just watched his team’s jaws drop to the floor’ when the US President free-styled his way through a 50-minute press conference. 


But the bullying wasn’t without result; first, Johnson and Trudeau had to explain themselves to the press, then the most powerful man in the world called Trudeau two-faced and cut-short his attendance. 


Still surprised NATO doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to? 

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