Justin Mish-mash


Justin Mish-mash

In 2020, American’s most relevant Republican is Donald Trump. America’s most relevant Democrat is Joe Biden. And America’s most relevant Libertarian is that guy from the Tiger King documentary who worked at Walmart and then became Joe Exotic’s campaign manager. America didn’t know a lot about Libertarians before Tiger King. After Tiger King, they understood that Libertarians are a political party of outsiders whose campaign promises rely on handing out condoms and shouting “technically, fuck the Feds.”


And although that Walmart employee turned campaign manager turned illegal zoo employee singlehandedly educated all of America about the Libertarian party, he is not the man running on the Libertarian presidential ticket this year. (Unfortunately). That man is Justin Amash. Justin A-who?


Justin Amash was elected to the House of Representatives as a Republican. However, last June he decided to leave the party. It’s hard to say why. Maybe he had a crisis of conscience. Maybe he didn’t like Donald Trump. Maybe he was just sick of wearing all those obnoxiously bright red ties.


Since then, he’s been an Independent. Then, earlier this week, he became a Libertarian. He’s hoping he’ll become the Libertarian presidential candidate, despite the fact that he’s been in their party for like a day.


And he probably will be. In the race for president, Libertarians have never gotten more than 3-4% of the vote, so these guys don’t have a lot to lose. And let’s face it, neither does America in terms of social services, education and health care so who knows if that record is about to be broken.


In summary, there’s a guy you don’t know much about running on behalf of a party you don’t know much about. There’s not a lot of reason to believe he’d detract votes from either of the 70-something problematic white guys already in the race.


Except, Justin Amash is from Michigan, which is well known as a swing state (it’s also well known as the state where people got Coronavirus while protesting the fact that the government was trying to keep them safe from Coronavirus).


No one thinks Justin Amash will win. Literally no one. (Well, maybe Justin’s mom). However, both Republicans and Democrats are worried he’ll ruin their chances of taking Michigan.


What is Justin Amash’s game here? Is he trying to take votes from Biden? Is he trying to take votes from Trump? Or is he just trying to make it through a mid-life crisis?


Maybe “become a Libertarian and run for president” is the new “speed down the highway in a tacky yellow sports car.” After all, anyone decently wealthy can do it, there’s really no point to it, and it makes you feel super important even though the majority of people just wish you’d stayed at home.

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