Christmas Comes Early for Israel


Christmas Comes Early for Israel

When Donald Trump promised to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict in his election campaign he wasn’t joking. This week the Peace Bringer in Chief announced his plan to bring harmony to the region… without a single Palestinian in sight.


In essence the proposal would grant a number of key concessions to the Israelis. Among these are the annexation of much of the West Bank including the Jordan Valley, total control of an ‘undivided’ Jerusalem with no access to any water source. Quite the shopping list!


Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who was just indicted on corruption charges after deciding that pardoning himself was a silly idea, was seemingly unable to contain his delight with the plan as he stood next to the President grinning from ear to ear.


Netanyahu’s goodies are not conditional on anything, so the changes are practically guaranteed to go ahead with a vote taking place in a ‘matter of days’ according to the Israeli tourism minister.


Trump’s ‘vision for peace’ has promised the Palestinians a ‘state’… albeit a rather small one. Their border with Jordan is to be ceded to Israel with a few new pockets of territory along the Egyptian border.


Under international law this is all technically illegal, but Trump is a fan of ignoring laws – it’s the ‘art of the deal’ as it were.


Shadowcreature Jared Kushner elaborated on the deal (during a Fox & Friends circle jerk) claiming the deal was well over 80 pages long and contained a map. Something that has ‘never been done before’. He also accused Palestine of having ‘screwed up every other opportunity they’ve ever had’ – though they never seem to fail to screw up their rocket attacks on Israel.


Indeed, the Palestinians presumed that the plan would be so objectionable that they objected even before details were even released. President Mahmoud Abbas called has called the plan a ‘conspiracy’ that ‘will not pass’ while a Hamas official deemed the document worthless.


Worryingly for the Palestinians, however, is Saudi Arabia’s wholehearted and immediate support of the deal.


With the region’s guardian of hope and justice now also abandoning Palestine, and providing that Trump is not forced out of office and Netanyahu evades prison, the Israel-Palestine conflict looks set to enter a new era.

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