The Charge of the Shite Brigade
After a year of being thrust into and out of lockdowns, Boris has announced that life will return to normal in the coming months. The PM is hopeful that by the 12th of April we can eat and drink at outdoor establishments. With Boris’s birthday coming up on the 19th of June he has decided that on the 21st of June we can attend festivals, nightclubs the lot, so Boris can celebrate in style. So the 21st of June is D-day, when Britain will take to the streets, trying to make up for lost time. The galloping words of Lord Tennyson sprung to mind…
Half a pint, half a pint,
Half a pint to down,
All in the smoking area Stumbled the pissed crowd
‘So how was your lockdown? Yeah, mine was shit!’ they cried. Into the smoking area
Stumbled the pissed crowd
‘So how was your lockdown?’ ‘Oh God please not again!’ What else is there to say. Social skills all gone.
All their tongues were tied, All wanted to hide,
All missed the safe inside. Into the smoking area Stumbled the pissed crowd.
A shot of Sambuca,
A shot of Tequila,
A shot of harsh vodka
They downed and chundered; They had forgot shots taste After months of waste,
They needed to drink,
so downed with haste Stumbled the pissed crowd.
The lads chant football songs, A hand upon their dongs Waiting to right the wrongs, Of theses quiet lonely months All of them wondered,
Why girls the will not come near
As they glance at their rears; Sniffing their nostrils
Their mouths trembled from the gear Shattered and depressed
They stumbled back, to the Pissed awaiting crowd.
Covid to right of them, Covid to left of them,
Covid behind them
It will never leave;
Whatever they drink down, Nothing can turn the frown, Covid left on each town
But on we plough through all As Britain cannot drown
Or what is left of us, Left of the pissed crowd
Boris has made the call Freedom for one and all! Twenty first of June, Will be a free for all! Britain will raise a glass, To us, the pissed crowd.