Politics
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Police feel knife crime nostalgia
There are reports today that the senior brass of the London Metropolitan police department, MET, are missing knife crime. This comes in the wake of one of their own officer's brutality taking the life of an innocent woman, Sarah Everard after he abducted her on the 3rd of March as she walked home at night. The police have [...]
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Fun Fact of the day: Scotland has parliamentary elections
Did you know every 5 years there are Scottish parliamentary elections held on the 6th of May? No? Neither did anyone else. In a surprise to all but the most involved in British politics there is in fact a Scottish Parliament, often referred to as Holyrood. Holyrood is granted some devolved powers by the UK government such as setting the legal [...]
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Sturgeon’s new Jerusalem disappears into scandal
In the past few weeks, the shady world of Scottish politics has had the spotlight turned on it. Nicola Sturgeon, the First Minister of Scotland, has been torn away from her tartan face-mask collection and plotting the demise the UK to face an investigation into a botched inquiry concerning alleged sexual harassment by former Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond. Yes choose any [...]
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Society
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Lockdown 3 in ‘public interest’… but the public aren’t interested
[vc_video link="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKNvOBB6u4Y" align="center"] In a final 2020 curveball, the British government announced that a new strain of the Coronavirus had left it no choice but to close the South-Eastern part of England (including London) down. People within the so-called ‘tier 4’, can’t leave to other parts of the country, visit others within the zone or celebrate Christmas with their loved ones. [...]
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♫On the third day of Christmas Boris said to me, three household mixings♫
Boris Johnson as well as the other leaders of the UKs devolved nations have decided that from the 23rd to 27th of Christmas the deadly virus that is sweeping across the country will stop, a Christmas miracle! From the 23rd to 27th the people of the UK will be able to mix in ‘bubbles’ of up to three households, though restrictions [...]
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Night of the living mink
Zombie-mink are rising from the dead in Denmark and threatening to spread a new and mysterious mutant coronavirus. Some months ago, the Danish government discovered that a new strain of COVID-19 was running rampant in the country’s mink population, whose silky pelts make up the bulk of Europe’s fur trade. The Danish response? Minkocide. Some 17 million mink were culled and [...]
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Columns
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Borat’s lost all the magic
Like many others, I was bitterly disappointed not to have seen Rudy Giuliani nude in the Borat reboot Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bride to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. But Sacha Baron Cohen’s new film is a political stunt packed with disappointments and falls far short of the original offend-all mockumentary. In the film’s [...]
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Football’s new plastic fans
While football fans across Europe scrambled to justify which Bundesliga team they had in fact always supported, and fans across the UK forced themselves to watch German football without chanting for the destruction of “10 German bombers in the air”, it seems that the restart of the South Korean K-League has caught us all off guard. Similarly to games in the [...]
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Column: The Corona Coup
The coronavirus pandemic is redefining the relationship between ordinary people and the state in a way unprecedented in recent times. In some countries the law is changing drastically without so much as a vote. In the UK, the government passed a far-reaching emergency powers bill that has practically suspended liberty. One ‘libertarian’ MP was close to tears as he spoke on [...]
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About
onthefence is an independent satirical news platform for the 21st century. Through satire and critical articles, we give a commentary that is both left and right. Right where necessary, left where necessary – depending on what side is underrepresented in society and politics. We will never adapt our commentary to become a solely left or right wing outlet. Hence our motto; “satirical news not for the meek, from the fence we speak”. We welcome comments on all of our articles, however outrageous they may be. Where possible we will engage in debate with those who think differently. If you want to write for us, please contact: contributions@onthefence.news and join us onthefence.