Politics
Salvini’s Migrant Heist
Italian Senator and former Deputy Prime Minister Matteo Salvini has been accused of ‘kidnapping’ migrants during his time in office. Out of office, the far-right leader lost his immunity after a Senate vote and now faces trial over his alleged maltreatment of migrants in 2019. In July, the interior minister used his powers to prevent 131 migrants from disembarking while he [...]
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Catboy’s Got His Tongue
A month ago, Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson’s chief adviser, wanted to replace the staff of Whitehall with “brand diviners” who hate Tommy Hilfiger and Chinese Cuban KGB agents. Or at least, that’s what he explained in a rambling blog post that at first seemed like a frape. (Before everyone realized that fraping hasn’t been cool since 2014). He said he was [...]
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Rory’s Campaign Sleepover
Are you a Londoner? Are you dying to share your tiny accommodation with another stranger? Well Rory Stewart wants to sleep on your floor for a night – but it’s okay he’s promised to bring a box of chocolates. In an attempt to resurrect his campaign to become the next Mayor of London, Rory has taken his quixotic style to the next [...]
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Society
Mont Rowing Machine
Emmanuel Macron is on a mission to protect the environmental treasure of Mont Blanc. Is he finally cracking down on truck pollution in the area? No, but he is tackling a much more prevalent and harmful issue: rowing machines. A few months ago, a British climber ditched a rowing machine somewhere near the top of the mountain. Apparently, he was trying [...]
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No ifs, ands or butts
Throughout the NHS, concerns have risen that the traditionally backless hospital gowns leave patients embarrassed and uncomfortable — that they have robbed patients of their dignity. (Although it’s hard to say how much dignity you have anyway when someone is sticking a fiber optic camera into your rectum during a colonoscopy). Still, apart from a small number of specific medical procedures, [...]
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To Catch a Cheat
DNA analysis firms are now selling “infidelity tests” so you can find out if your partner is cheating. The days of open and honest communication with your partner are over. The days of sending their dirty underwear to DNA labs have begun. These firms operate in a shady area of legality. Experts have called it a “Wild West” of genetics testing [...]
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Columns
Kim Jong-Un Joins Trump 2020 Campaign
Kim Jong Un’s wants Donald Trump to win the 2020 presidential election and secure a second term in power, according to sources. Failing that, the Supreme Leader could well advise his American counterpart to get rid of elections altogether and don the Communist party uniform. This revelation comes at the tail end of a frosty period between Washington and Pyongyang. When [...]
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Clearing the Air(bnb)
Recently, concerns have arisen about the safety of Airbnb. This is frankly shocking. After all, nothing should be safer than meeting a stranger online and deciding to become their houseguest. Basically, some houses are doing the property equivalent of Catfishing. What you see is not what you get. For example, hosts might advertise: “this is a sweet place to stay.” [...]
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Farage Knows How to Party
Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage has announced plans to reform his party after Brexit next year. You might it’s strange to improve the party you lead days before a national election, but Nigel is so confident of his loss that he’s already registered “the Reform Party” as the new name. This turn around has been unprecedented, as Farage’s Brexit Party stormed [...]
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