Politics

Cuomo and Get It

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As the Coronavirus crisis continues into April, there’s really only two things Americans can agree on: 1. That maybe it would’ve been a better idea to elect Joe Exotic in 2016 and 2. That Andrew Cuomo is a total dilf.    In the meantime, Joe Biden has become less relevant than Joey Fattone post NSYNC breakup. Where has he been? Apparently hiding [...]
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Lagarde Virus

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Thanks to yesterday’s ECB press conference led by Christine Lagarde, European bond markets crashed, bringing about mass volatility and scathing criticisms to the ECB President.    The fly in the ointment? Lagarde said the ECB is “not here to close the spread” (banker talk for ‘we’re not here to back up your unreliable governments). Goes to show what damage you can do [...]
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Kangaroo Court

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It’s a serious moment in German politics. The left are getting lefter, leaving many left behind and the right and getting righter (though they’re not always right). The country desperately needs an earnest sober person to speak some sense into its electorate.    That’s why the German left wing has put their faith in a figure who so embodies all of those [...]
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Society

License Hate

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“Morons,” “Paedos,” and “Hookers” are among those targeted by the government’s new vanity license plate restrictions. That’s right, the DVLA just released the list of banned vanity license plate numbers, and “M20 RON,” “PE20 ADO,” “HO20 KER” topped the list.    This is good to know just in case you wanted a little plaque on the front of your car advertising the [...]
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Responses to COVID – An Overview

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Now the lockdown has been going for over two weeks in most places; people have grown tired of seeing their neighbour’s pathetic pushups and daily culinary routines decline.    The same can’t be said for most governments, who spend a lot of time covering what other countries many miles away are doing - instead of worrying about themselves.    Mostly in a [...]
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High Crimes and Mystery Hoodies

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Have you recently committed a dangerous high-profile crime such as playing a pickup basketball game with friends? Then scientists have good news. You can now buy an invisibility cloak that prevents police facial recognition software from identifying you.    When they say “cloak,” what they really mean is psychedelic tie-dye hoodie that would only ever be electively worn by Kevin Federline or [...]
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Columns

Column: The Corona Coup

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The coronavirus pandemic is redefining the relationship between ordinary people and the state in a way unprecedented in recent times. In some countries the law is changing drastically without so much as a vote.   In the UK, the government passed a far-reaching emergency powers bill that has practically suspended liberty. One ‘libertarian’ MP was close to tears as he spoke on [...]
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The Great Isolation

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You could have been forgiven for failing to believe your eyes when the BBC News update popped up on mobile phone screens around the world ‘PM Boris Johnson tests positive for coronavirus and is self-isolating in Downing Street’.   Surely if it really is as simple as washing your hands for at least twenty seconds and not touching your face, then it [...]
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Scoot scoot, hey, beep beep

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There’s a revolution happening in Britain. Not the kind where there’s bloodshed or a transfer of power. Not the kind where there’s an inspirational grassroots movement. And, tragically, not the kind where Hugh Jackman sings a duet with Eddie Redmayne. No, this is the kind of revolution that only has to do with e-scooters.    Yes, E-scooters have finally been legalized on [...]
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onthefence is an independent satirical news platform for the 21st century. Through satire and critical articles, we give a commentary that is both left and right. Right where necessary, left where necessary – depending on what side is underrepresented in society and politics. We will never adapt our commentary to become a solely left or right wing outlet. Hence our motto; “satirical news not for the meek, from the fence we speak”. We welcome comments on all of our articles, however outrageous they may be. Where possible we will engage in debate with those who think differently. If you want to write for us, please contact: contributions@onthefence.news and join us onthefence.